


Hinckberman Chair Fuckery

by dickjokesanddoilies



Category: Easy Allies RPF
Genre: Haunted??? Chair???? au???, Multi, Paranormal, Uneasy Allies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-15 00:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19284691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickjokesanddoilies/pseuds/dickjokesanddoilies
Summary: Finally getting over my fear of posting my stuff online; this is a fine vintage from my old blog lmao! Pls enjoy this nonsensical one-shot from over three years ago :o)





	Hinckberman Chair Fuckery

Kyle arms remained stubbornly crossed, his lips a thin white line, as he tried his absolute best to ignore his girlfriend’s pleas.

“C’moooon, Kyle, I think it’s so cool!” Ian whined as they sprawled across the beat up armchair dramatically, hand on forehead and all.

“Ugh, Ian get off of that thing. It’s probably got all kinds of germs on it.”

With a huff, Ian pulled themselves up from the worn brown chair. They snatched the paper they’d discovered taped to its front and waved it in their stubborn boyfriend’s face insistently.

“Babe, it’s a HAUNTED CHAIR! How are you not totally, completely on board?!”

The longer Kyle stared at the torn piece of paper, the more Ian could see his resolve crumble, until he was left wearing that familiar nervous expression that usually meant Kyle was about to give in.

“Oh god, this is so stupid.”

“Yes, it very well may be but..BOSMAN! Haunted chair! C’mon, help me get it into the back!”

It took them a bit to haul the rather large chair into the trunk of their car, neither of them particularly known for their physical prowess, and by the time the car was putting down the road, both were sweating and panting. About halfway home, a ton of ruckus came from the back of their car, startling Kyle and forcing Ian to glance over their shoulder.

“Jeez, that chair’s going all over the place! It felt heavier than that.”

“Well, yeah,” Kyle reasoned, “I thought it weighed 1’000 lbs. Just about everything feels like that to us, though.”

“Huh, speak for yourself, Bossy!” Ian scolded, their noisy chair mostly forgotten, “I’m fucking jacked.”

Ian was pleased as Kyle was sent into a round of his endearingly uncontrollable giggles, eyes squeezing shut for a brief second as the light went red. They smiled fondly at their adorable grump of a boyfriend as they reached over to the radio, and cranked the volume up. 

Once they were home, the inevitable Chair Placement Discourse began, as was expected of the pair. Some of their friends (Jones) had even gone so far as to say bickering was the Ian and Kyle version of flirting. Ian had found this observation to be rude, but…not entirely inaccurate.

“Can I just say…I hate the chair there.”

Ian glanced up from their laptop: “I mean, you CAN say those words out loud like that. Doesn’t mean I have to acknowledge them.”

“Ian, babe, c’mon it’s just-the light is directly in my eyes over here!”

“Well it’s way too dark to read over if we put it in that corner.”

Kyle huffed a petulant little sigh and yanked his glasses off of his face (a telltale sign that he was about to enter Serious Kyle Mode). Ugh, Ian hated Serious Kyle Mode.

“Well, it’s your dumb old chair!” He argued, hopping to his feet and walking towards his lover.

“Correction: we bought it together.” Ian said as they rose, always ready and able to go toe to toe with Kyle.

“What-no, Ian! It was free! How could you already forget that?”

“Wow, you’re remembering tiny details like that? This chair must really mean something to you, Bosman!”

“Oh my god, you do you always have t-”

“Woah, do you two ever stop fighting? Talk about an uneasy alliance!”

The two feuding lover froze in place, Ian with their hands on their hips and Kyle with a finger pointing. Neither moved in reaction to the strange voice they’d never heard before.

“Please tell me you-”

“Uh-huh.”

Ian leaned to peek over Kyle’s shoulder very slowly, their blue eyes widening at whatever was apparently directly behind them.

“Babe…turn around and tell me I’m not fucking insane.”

Even though turning around and facing what was undoubtedly a murderer (in Kyle’s mind at least) was the last thing he wanted to do, Kyle carefully did a 180. He sucked in a gasp and fell backwards into Ian, clutching at the lapels of their trucker jacket. A man was sat cross legged in the dusty brown armchair, wearing a goofy grin and clutching at their own ankles with their hands. They’d even go so far as to call the smaller looking man cute if, upon squinting, he didn’t appear to be faintly translucent.

“Well, hi there!” The odd, sort-of see through man chirped right before Kyle unleashed an earth shattering scream.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this post: https://dickjokesanddoilies.tumblr.com/image/146685044568


End file.
